Black helicopters

Black helicopters
It's The Black Helicopters Bitches

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The season of spring is upon us

This is the time of year when all of the trees and flowers start to bloom and the weather gets nice. Well being in California it is nice pretty much year round. But in Spring, Summer and Fall it is get naked weather. Yes the boys can run around shirtless and in shorts. What is really sad is that due to ignorant fashion choices the shorts got longer and baggier. Now in my opinion that sucks, when I was in my 20’s we wore daisy dukes and those little thin nylon running shorts that did not leave all that much to the imagination. It was hot and sexy and did we have fun, you bet. We were one of the last of the outdoor generations of children and we all had fairly nice bodies. You know from playing sports to riding bicycles to running and just being outdoors in general. Then along came those damn video games and freaked out parents who thought that someone was going to snatch their precious little brats.

That changed everything, if you were born after 1978 you were a house child unless you lived in some Podunk little farming town. By the time I was in my twenties you did not see kids playing outside. You did not see kids riding bicycles or walking to the store. Kids did not even walk to school anymore. Then they started getting fat. Yes kids were fat, no just one or two kids were heavy or as we called it husky but kids were fucking fat, I mean huge. 5 year olds weighing over 100 pounds and shit. I mean when I was 5 I might have weighed 40 ponds and I was tall. Well I am going off tangent here so back to what I was talking about earlier. Spring has sprung and it is time to get back is shape so that you can get naked and get laid.

Now all of the boys you see have these little gym honed bodies which is fine if you like that but I like a guy who has that natural athletic build that comes from doing shit. You know that natural sun kissed look that comes from being outdoors, not that artificial sprayed tanning booth thing that you see so much of nowadays. Yes I know that the sun can cause skin cancer but still it can make you look so much better than those umpa lumpa orange tans that we see so much of now. Hell I’m African American and I would even get out in the sun to get rid of that paper sack color that winter brought on.

What is funny also is what people think is hot now compared to when I was a younger. Six pack abs meant you were not eating enough, now it is what everybody wants. Now I had six pack abs forever and I was not to thrilled about it cause when I was in my 20’s everybody wanted those big pec’s. I always thought that I was to skinny and I could not wait to gain some weight. All of my friends were always bitching about being skinny. A few of them started to go to the gym to build up some bulk but they just got more ripped and they were still skinny. Funny thing is now everyone would think they were all hot and shit. I guess it is just a sign of the times. The current generation of 20 somethings is going to the gym to look the way we just looked naturally. Who would have thought.

What is all of this all about, well it is spring so the White Party is coming up and it is time to show the goods again in one of the nations most famous circuit parties.

This is Elmysterio and I'm out

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